I wade through black water with high rubber boots
and an obstinate staff
After playing chess with an aardvark in a forest
Freud stood in a cottage with funereal corners
“Where is your power animal?” he asks
“I left him in the woods.” I answer
And so we continue in this way
Statues and great art hang from the ceiling
They exchange I love yous between breaths
The kind of I love yous that signify only
I want to be your friend
When we come up for air
I capture your king with my one-woman army
“Why?” I ask Freud as he closes the door.

Funny how I blind myself
I never knew
If I was sometimes played upon
Afraid to lose
I would tell myself what good you do
Convince myself
It's my life

presently on my i-pod. can we all agree that gwen stefani successfully butchered this song?

happy saturday kids.

Remember how it felt
to want to be real

how it felt
as you placed one foot to the ground

how amazing
when the universe did not give out from under you

do you remember the first kiss
when you believed in mistakes
providence had no authority

remember how it felt to burn
the apron strings
that tied you backwards

to forgive the woodcarver

to pick up the phone
to stomach your face

do you remember poetic license
impetuous romance
and infantile dreams

do you remember when you had no choice but to take chances

when you jumped off the cliff
to prove you were a real boy.

This time last year
there were sand dunes to run through
brick walls to cover
recent works by old friends

This time last year
spring was upon us
like a mattress on fire
passion
or a triumphant homecoming
you in my arms

This time last year
I painted without hesitation
over what it all means
or if I was honest

This time last year
a tire was rolled through a door
red lipstick grew on a mirror
like cancer
I cried when the band played
over what it all means
or if I was honest

This time last year
I threw my body down the side of an Indiana mountain
kicking tornados up with one heel
they landed in your mouth
it was captured on film

This time last year
we shared fruit in a back room
and our lives intertwined
deep roots in the Amazon
wrapping laps around two souls
until we could no longer separate
your heart from mine

This time last year
a great fog was lifted
trust
in the branches I swung from
they never broke

until we did.

Your ghost sat on the edge of my bed last night
held my hand while i slept
licked my fingers as I walked down the hall

your ghost smoked my last cigarette
placed my wallet in the same position
without the money
but I don’t mind
if your ghost lingers in the bathroom
or folds
like a bible in my lap

your ghost has no rebuttal
the way I whisper to your ghost and its eyes glaze over
I seduce your ghost into vacuous conversation
and I win

In the afternoon
we sip English tea
and stare deeply past each other
into some
white future

Your ghost leans on me
like a homeless cobweb
a fragile child
begging for more

but I don’t mind
if your ghost longs for love
or if
I have grown more comfortable with the thought of you
like a ring stain on a table
or a scar.